Want to Be a Stronger Leader? Use this Map to Improve Your Alliances and Relationships

Relationships and alliances help you build momentum and move closer to your goals, They influence your outlooks and attitudes about what's happening around you. They even affect your longevity, resistance to disease, and mental wellbeing.

Yet in the hard work of building a business we often forget to be intentional about the allies we gather around us. We set visions for where we want the business to go, strategize on financial structures and campaigns that test product-market fit, and use design thinking to more deeply understand our customers and what they long for.

But relationships? If you're like most leaders, they simply "happen." We take them as they come -- but seldom apply proactive thought to gathering the right people around us.

You can change that. By getting intentional about your relationship strategy, the way you would about a product or financial plan, you can design a path to improving the connections that influence you most. I recommend a simplified version of a "sociogram," or map of relationships and social connections. Although there are various ways to construct sociograms, the simple one shared here offers an easy way to identify and design the alliances you want to bring to your leadership -- and life.

Here's how it works.

Draw Your Map

First, draw a small circle in the center of a piece of paper and jot your name and date in it.

Then draw two rings around it: concentric circles moving outward from the center. Leave enough room to do some writing in these circles.

Next, reflect on key relationships that influence you: people you interact with often, or who create significant impact on your life, or on whom you rely for stability, support, and collaboration.

Start to write the names of these people: the most influential ones near the center, close to your name, and the somewhat less impactful ones farther from the center.

Try to identify 8-10 names, and no more than 12. Consider both positive and negative influences. Identify important people from your past, even if you're no longer connected. Include personal as well as professional connections: loved ones and key work relationships belong on this map.

Be thoughtful about the process. You may put names down and end up replacing them with others that feel more influential. Keep refining until you have a solid map of the most influential 10-or-so allies in your circles.

Identify Patterns

Now, consider the roles of the people you added to your map.

Which are mentors, guides, or inspirations: people you learn from or see as role models, whether they know it or not?

Which are partners or collaborators, whether personal or professional? Is there someone who is your "Champion," always in your corner ready to cheer you on?

Which are dependents, relying on you for appropriate care or nurturing - or in needy ways that drain your time, energy, and attention?

Who might be a deterrent: a critic or challenger who complicates your path or burdens your life experience with negativity?

Do you have a catalyst, someone who sparks you to a higher level of vision, contribution, or presence?

Notice similarities between them. What patterns do you see? What gaps?

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Design Your Ideal Map

As you reviewed this map you probably felt things you liked about it, some you didn't like about it, and some you wished to change. Use that thinking to develop the Sociogram you want to have surround you.

Put your name and a realistic future date into a center circle. Then, around it, like before: two concentric circles.

Need a mentor? Mark that in your closest circle, or move someone who could be a guide or inspiration closer to the core.

Notice some toxic forces close to the center? Push them out to the farther circle, or, better yet, out of the circles altogether.

Too many optional dependents? Soften their impact by moving them away from center. Maybe you'll see how this opens up time and headspace to move family or loved ones in closer.

Who is missing from your circles? A champion or catalyst? A partner?

Who needs to move closer to center? Who farther? Who needs to leave your circles? Who do you want to invite in? Invest some time to reflect on your ideal constellation of allies. It's the first step in designing the relationships you actually want.

Convert to Action

Compare the two maps. Everything different between them, is, in a sense, your desire for change. Now, all that's left is creating a plan of action.

Identify those desires and name the outcome you seek. Maybe it's something like "I want a go-to mentor I can meet with regularly to improve my long-term thinking," or "I want to limit the impact of negative personalities by reducing the time I spend with them."

Then think of barriers to these actions. You may not have a candidate for an aligned mentor, or you may need to navigate some politics to interact less with the negative force.

Next, identify ways to work through those barriers: how can you create the desired change and outcomes? Can you activate your alumni network to seek a mentor, or reconnect with someone you've lost touch with? Can you come up with a corrective plan for the difficult forces to see if they can change, or adjust your behavior so you interact less frequently? In other words, what can you do to make your desired change happen?

Reaching the success your second sociogram inspires may seem like an ambitious plan -- but isn't that also true of any product, financial, or organizational vision? Move toward realization of your ideal relationship map the same way you do with other goals: by setting a clear vision for what you seek and putting steps in place to help you achieve it.

Need motivation? Close your eyes and see yourself in that future circle, surrounded by allies who help you succeed. We can't do it alone. Designing the relationships that help you get where you want to go is, actually, a big step forward in getting there.

Source: https://www.inc.com


ABOUT WNFP
Westchester Networking for Professionals (WNFP) is a business organization focused on providing our members and guests with an extraordinary networking experience, bringing business professionals together for the sole purpose of generating new relationships and developing new business opportunities. Not a member, learn how you can become a member and join this awesome group of professionals to connect and grow your business.

Stay Connected with WNFP!

3 Ways to Get More Business from Your Next Networking Event

The following excerpt is from Ivan Misner, Ph.D. and Brian Hilliard’s book Networking Like a Pro. 

Let’s take a look at some specific steps you can take toward improving your networking tactics and getting more business from your very next event.

1. Limit the Number of Contacts per Event

The most important thing is the quality of the contacts you get, which means the type of contact, the relevance to your business and interests, how good a connection you’re making, and the individual involved. At a typical event, five to 10 contacts might be all you can handle. This may not seem like a lot of contacts, but it’s really more than enough when you’re talking to the right people. If you attend two events per week, that’s eight (or more) events a month, or 40 to 80 new contacts every 30 days. Continue to do that over the next couple of months—while following up with the people that you’ve met—and you’ll soon have more than enough high-quality contacts to keep you busy.

2. Spend Five to 10 Minutes Talking and Listening to Each Person

Just because you’re not handing out your business card to 1,001 people doesn’t mean you should spend 20 minutes talking to just one individual. Invest a few minutes in getting to know each person. Make sure to ask for their business card. Then follow up with them after the event; this is where the heavy lifting takes place. Remember, all we’re doing now is setting the stage for future business.

Many people ask us how to end a conversation. Don’t overthink this. It’s pretty easy to end a conversation in a friendly and polite way. Here are two things that we do:

1. Based on something the person you’re talking to says, think of someone in the room that might be interested in talking to them. Let them know about the person in the room, walk them over, and make an intro­duction. Then say that you’ll leave them to get to know one another. It’s a great way to end a conversation and, at the same time, be a connector.

2. If there’s no one to introduce the person to, then thank them for the conversation, let them know that you hope your paths cross again and ask for a card. Conversation over.

On the second approach, it’s important to be genuine. If you hope to never meet that person again, don’t remark, “I hope our paths cross again.” Instead, say something polite and professional and ask for their card. Asking for a card and offering thanks has almost always worked for us. Again, don’t overthink this and don’t apologize for ending the conversation. Whatever you do—don’t say you have someone else to meet. That puts people off.

3. Write Notes on the Backs of People’s Cards

Not only will writing notes help you remember what the other person said at an event, but it will also slow you down a bit so you won’t be running around trying to meet the next person. On the front of the card you can write the date and name of the event where you met the person; on the back, a few quick notes about the conversation or anything else of note. When you contact the person later, this will give you something to refer to.

To reiterate two key ideas when it comes to meeting new people:

You’re not interested in selling anything to the person you’re just meeting; you want to find some way you can help them. You understand, of course, that what goes around comes around, usually in the form of referrals for your business.

You want to create a visible identity with everyone you meet. A visible identity is the answer to this question: “How can I differentiate myself, in the mind of this other person, from the other five people they’ve already met?”

Keeping those two ideas in mind will give you a leg up when meeting new contacts. Using this simple “Givers Gain” approach, you’ll see an uptick in the amount of new business and referrals you get while networking.

Source: https://www.entrepreneur.com/
Image Credit: Caiaimage | Martin Barraud | Getty Images


ABOUT WNFP
Westchester Networking for Professionals (WNFP) is a business organization focused on providing our members and guests with an extraordinary networking experience, bringing business professionals together for the sole purpose of generating new relationships and developing new business opportunities. Not a member, learn how you can become a member and join this awesome group of professionals to connect and grow your business.

Stay Connected with WNFP!

These Three Types of Relationships are Your Secret Weapon to Success in Business

Relationship building is essential in any business, but this concept extends beyond customer and vendor relations. While those relationships are vital, it's the direct connections that, in many cases, can make or break your success in the business world.

These relationships are your secret weapon. The people you surround yourself with can help you do the impossible, change your perspective for the better, or inspire you to keep fighting against the odds. Without them, you'd have a long, uphill battle ahead.


So, what are these relationships? I believe it boils down into these three categories:

Personal

The overall benefits of having strong, positive personal relationships in your life are invaluable. According to a study conducted by Gallup, "Individuals who say they have family and friends they can count on to help them in times of trouble are consistently more likely to be satisfied with their personal health." From this same study, Lisa Berkman, Ph.D., of Harvard University also noted that "People who are socially isolated tend to have more physiological stress, poorer immune function, and a host of biological risk factors."

How are you supposed to a run a company or get that startup off the ground if you're feeling stressed and sick? This is why it is so important to build strong personal relationships as they can directly impact your working life (and vice versa, but that's another topic for a different day). It could be the connections you form with your spouse, significant other, friends, children, classmates, or other close family members. Who they are doesn't matter--what matters is the quality of the relationship.


For me, I was fortunate enough to grow up in a very entrepreneurial and supportive family. My grandfather (on my mother's side) started his own business, which my father eventually ended up taking over. My uncle also started his own tech company back in the 80s, which was acquired by McGraw Hill. At family get-togethers, my grandfather would take me aside and explain how to invest in stocks or say things like, "Why would you ever work for someone else when you can create your company?"

This is not the case for everyone--and that's fine--but take a look at the personal relationships in your life. Are the people you're closest with challenging you? Inspiring you? Offering sincere encouragement? Because when we're happy in our personal relationships, we can focus our energy and passion into our businesses. But when these relationships are not going well, then it's all too easy to let that frustration and anxiety affect our work.  

Professional

The professional relationships you make throughout your career can directly impact your likelihood of success.

My co-founder, for example, continuously helps me to divide and conquer the Herculean feats we are sometimes tasked with. During the infancy stages of Centric Digital, we had about a week to source, recruit, and train talent for a $4 million contract. We split the to-do list and sourced an incredible team in a very short period of time that allowed us to fulfill the contract and scale our company. This anecdote speaks volumes about the importance of a trusting partnership based on confidence in each other's skills and expertise. Centric Digital would not have grown so quickly if I did not have these types of professional relationships.


This concept should be applied across your entire organization--do you have the same types of professional relationships with everyone on your team? Can you trust your key players to do what needs to be done to the best of their skills and ability? If not, it might be time to start building new relationships and changing out people on your team.

Advisory

Advisors, mentors, coaches--having someone (or a team of someones) to guide your progress is essential, especially for those in leadership roles.

When you're on the top of an organization, you must surround yourself with people who are more experienced and knowledgeable to offer advice on your ideas, plans, and strategies. It helps if these people are outside of your organization and are excellent, high-quality superstars--otherwise you'll never grow, you'll never learn, and you'll always make mistakes. It also helps to build relationships with advisors who are outside of your industry as they can offer a unique perspective to your current challenges.

Wrapping up

There's a famous quote by motivational speaker and entrepreneur Jim Rohn that states, "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." If this is the case, and I strongly believe it is, then take a moment to look at the personal, professional, and advisory relationships in your life. Are these relationships encouraging you to grow and be your best self? Do they make you feel empowered? Are you connecting with the type of people you have a deep mutual respect for? If the answer isn't a resounding, "Yes!" then it's a no. Which brings us to the real secret behind this secret weapon: networking.

If you want to surround yourself with amazing, talented, and progressive people you have to force yourself to get out there and network like crazy--and you need to do it with an open mind. Because you never know where or when you might make a crucial connection that will push you to advance your progress on the path to success.


Image Credit:Getty Images
Source:www.inc.com



ABOUT WNFP
Westchester Networking for Professionals (WNFP) is a business organization focused on providing our members and guests with an extraordinary networking experience, bringing business professionals together for the sole purpose of generating new relationships and developing new business opportunities. Not a member, learn how you can become a member and join this awesome group of professionals to connect and grow your business.

Stay Connected with WNFP!